"THE VELVET RAGE" by Alan Downs, PhD

THE VELVET RAGE is about the difficulty of overcoming 

the duality inherent in gay men raised in America.

It traces how we are not afforded the normal childhoods

we deserve because of stymieing an important aspect of

ourselves, and how that 'shut-down' manifests itself throughout life. 

There is some truly wonderful work here, dealing with the self-hate

and denial that most every gay man has dealt with. As

mentioned in the intro, it is exclusively targeted at gay men and

their unique journey, although the story certainly has merit

and applications for lesbians and even straight men, as it deals

with the search for identity and authenticity.

There are Three Stages to coming to terms with self, and they

are brilliantly labeled and discussed by Downs (who has

been dealing with gay men as patients in therapy for

some time, as well as being gay himself.)

One of the best insights has to do with the issues of

shame and invalidation, which are beautifully explored.

Much of why homophobia and down-low activities

exist is covered in these insights (if not explicitly

intended!)

I hate to mention it, but I fear I must. This book is

chock-full of typos and grammar problems. If, like

me, that really grinds you, please don't let it dissuade

you from trudging on. After several frustrations and

nearly putting the book down, I kept at it because the

material is so wonderful, and I was very glad I did.

It's worth it.

(As an aside; if the publishers need an editor for the

next edition, I would give my services at a reduced rate!)

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THE GOD DELUSION by Richard Dawkins

Dawkins covers a lot of good points in this book.

The science was dry reading for me, although necesaary for

setting up his points, and ultimately very informative.

However, the sociological aspects of religion

and belief are where my true interests lie.

There could have been given more sufficient time to

those issues (such as the touched on topics of the

indoctrination of children, the reasons why people

feel they need religion, and addressing the argument

that all morality is linked to religion.)

The one issue I had with the book was

that Dawkins (who is known for his abrasiveness) promotes

that being sexually abused as a child is not quite as traumatic

as being forced religion.

First, Dawkins admits he himself was 'fooled around with' as a kid.

I think he's obviously in denial about the effects of such abuse,

or merely downplaying it for himself, perhaps in an attempt to make

light of the incident. If not, he's truly the coolest damned cucumber

I've ever met.

That notwithstanding, the book's an excellent overview of

the fallacies involving creationism, belief, the Bible and

much more. A great assist for those struggling with

such questions already or looking for a more scientific

basis for already knowing truth.

"The Hotel New Hampshire" by John Irving

Remarkably enough, my mother got me interested in this

book! Some time in the early/mid 1980s,

when she and I were driven by Pops to school and work every day,

she reached over the back seat to hand me a

Reader's Digest condensed book.

"You might find this interesting! It's so crazy, all the cussing!"

In it was a reduced form of Irving's Hotel New Hampshire,

which I immediately fell in love with.

(I went out and got my own copy of the original that weekend!)
I still choose to think Mom's sly pitch was her own

awkward attempt to address my homosexuality,

which obviously she was aware of on some

hyper-suppressed level.

Not all that much later (a year or two?) I was at a friend's

house in Iowa, and they had glorious premium cable!
Late one night, alone in the basement, I happened upon

the movie version of HNH and was mesmerized!
(I still maintain it one of the most faithful adaptations

of any book, ever!)
All of the cleverness, comedy, tragedy, and earnestness

of the book somehow made whole on the screen!

Possibly one of Irving's quirkiest, it has all the dark matter that he

excels at and which I relate to. It will likely always be my favorite.

No matter how juvenile and insane anyone else imagines it!